Counsel for the Slayer
by M. Scott Eiland
Summary: Michael Kuzak gets a call from his old mentor, Leland MacKensie. It seems there is a young woman in Sunnydale in need of legal counsel. . .Yes, dear reader, this is a BTVS L.A. Law crossover story.
1. Default Chapter

Summary: Michael Kuzak gets a call from his old mentor, Leland MacKensie. It seems there is a young woman in Sunnydale in need of legal counsel. . .Yes, dear reader, this is a BTVS/ L.A. Law crossover story.  
  
Disclaimer: All series characters are the copyrighted property of their  
owners/creators--I just had this weird idea while driving to a meeting.  
  
Rating: PG-13, for occasional stakings, erotic references to gorilla suits, and a gratuitous mention of bull semen.  
  
Time Frame: After GD2, during the summer (this is your spoiler warning, folks).  
  
  
  
  
COUNSEL FOR THE SLAYER  
  
Part I  
  
Michael Kuzak sat at his desk, utterly relaxed. Business had been good for himself and Victor Sifuentes, his law partner. A jury had just come back with a multi-million dollar award in favor of his client, who had been injured badly when a defective window washing platform had failed, causing the hapless painter to fall five stories to the street. There would be an appeal, of course, but Kuzak was confident of winning. Another major case was coming up, but for the next few days, his load would be light. He checked the wall clock:  
  
2:00. The Dodgers were playing the Diamondbacks at the Stadium at five--he could make a call or two, get some good tickets. Maybe Victor or Grace would feel like going. He was leafing through his Rolodex to find the ticket agent's number when the phone rang: he picked it up. "Kuzak."  
  
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I Michael?" asked the familiar voice. Kuzak smiled and replied, "Not at all, Leland. How are you?" It had been two months since he had spoken to Leland MacKensie, his former mentor and partner. Leland had recently celebrated his seventy third birthday and was semi-retired, but he was still the biggest rainmaker at MacKensie Brackman, et al: he brought in clients through sheer reputation. Not that the old man couldn't still come through in the clutch. . .Kuzak had come up against him in a case two years before, when Leland was representing the defendant in a personal injury case. The facts strongly favored Kuzak's client, but the award in the end was far less than he expected--the old man had put on quite a show in closing argument. He listened to Leland as he brought Kuzak up to date on what had been going on at the firm, then commented, "It's good to hear from you, but I have a feeling that you haven't called me just to catch up."  
  
Kuzak heard the older man sigh, then reply, "You still don't miss much, Michael. Okay, I need a favor."  
  
Kuzak smiled, then asked, "What do you need?"  
  
"I have a client who has asked me to assist a friend of his who recently lost her counsel of record in a case coming to trial tomorrow," MacKensie replied, his voice calm. "The city attorney is trying to get a public nuisance injunction against her; apparently, there is a lot of evidence against her."  
  
Kuzak frowned, then asked, "An injunction? Can't she just cease and desist whatever she's doing to annoy the city?"  
  
Kuzak heard a chuckle at the other end of the line, before MacKensie replied, "I'm reliably informed that that would not be a good thing, either for the young woman or for her. . .dependents. Can you take the case, Michael?"  
  
Kuzak thought for a moment, then commented, "I'm not terribly busy right now, " thinking as he did that Leland probably knew that before even calling him, "and you've got me wondering what kind of mess this client has gotten herself into. Okay. . .give me the information. . .all right. . .the usual rate. . .fine. . .I can get there in a few hours. No problem, Leland. Bye." He put the receiver down and packed his briefcase, the Dodger game forgotten as the siren call of a new case engaged his thoughts.  
  
Leland MacKensie sat at his desk for a moment without moving, a smile on his face, before picking up the phone and punching in a number. After a moment he spoke: "Hello, this is MacKensie. I've found counsel for your friend. . .yes, he's among the best--I'd trust him with my life. He'll be there by late afternoon." He listened for a moment, then continued, "No, this one is on me. . .I owe you one, and we both know it. . .It's good to have you back in town. ..why don't you come over for drinks next Friday, let me know what you've been up to?. . .great. Okay, I've got a meeting in five minutes. Take care." He replaced the receiver, smiled again, then quickly began signing the pile of  
documents on his desk. Funny, semi-retirement still felt like work to him.  
  
-----  
  
Kuzak was a city boy from way back--the idea of being removed from the conveniences of the metropolis that was Los Angeles had never appealed to him. Still, the small-town atmosphere, when taken in small doses, was relaxing, if nothing else. * Sunnydale *, he thought as he drove down one of the larger streets, * now where have I heard that name before? * He turned down another street and gasped. What had obviously been the local high school was a burned out shell that work crews were busily pulling to pieces. * I remember now! Sunnydale High School went up like a nuke on their graduation day. . .something about snakes and sewer gas. * Kuzak shook his head in amusement * Leland, you sure can pick them. *  
  
He found the correct address without trouble: it was a comfortable looking two story house with a large tree in front. As he approached the front door, he was mildly surprised to notice that various parts of the house did not seem to match the others--it was as if various parts of the house had been demolished, only to be repaired. He shrugged and rang the bell.  
  
An attractive woman answered the door and asked, "Yes, may I help you?" Kuzak offered his card, and explained "I'm here to see Buffy Summers, ma'am." The woman smiled and replied, "Ah yes, she's expecting you, Mr. Kuzak. I'm Buffy's mother, Joyce." She offered her hand and Kuzak shook it, giving her the once over. She seemed to be about Grace's age, though not as thin. Kuzak found himself wondering what she thought about gorilla suits, then dismissed the thought as Joyce called upstairs, "Buffy!"  
  
There was the sound of feet coming down the stairs, and Kuzak's client appeared in the living room. She appeared to be about eighteen, and looked as if she had just stepped out of a cheerleaders' locker room, or perhaps a Rose Parade float. "Nice to meet you," she greeted him politely, leading him into the kitchen, where she offered him a seat and some water, both of which he accepted. Buffy sat down and looked intently at him. "So, " she asked, "do you know what this case is all about?"  
  
"I have the case file," replied Kuzak: Leland had faxed it to him before he left. "Quite honestly, Miss Su- , may I call you Buffy?" She nodded, and he continued, "Buffy, I'm not sure why you're fighting this. Given this list of incidents, the city or some of the involved people could have come after you for damages. All an injunction will do is prevent you from doing things of the same nature in the future. Is there something more here than meets the eye?"  
  
The young woman looked uncomfortable: Kuzak could see her shifting in her seat. After a moment, she met his mildly puzzled gaze and replied, "I know this has to seem strange to you--may I call you Michael?" He nodded and she continued, "It may seem strange to you, Michael, but I have to do these things; in fact, it is urgent that I continue to do so." She looked still more uncomfortable, then she whispered, "If I told you why, you'd probably laugh, or think I was crazy!" Kuzak assumed his most reassuring smile, looked around the room to make sure they were alone, then replied, "Buffy, I'm here to represent you. As your attorney, anything you say to me is absolutely protected by privilege and my ethical duty to protect client secrets." He leaned towards her, realizing that trust probably did not come easily to this young woman. "I've been a practicing attorney for over twenty years, Buffy. I've seen all kinds of things: good, bad, ridiculous, sublime. I sincerely doubt that there is anything that you could say to shock me, or to make me laugh at you." * Unless it involves bull semen *, he thought, remembering Grace's account of her case involving that esoteric substance and the five minutes before either of them could speak again due to their hysterics.  
  
Buffy looked at Kuzak for another moment, then seemed to come to a decision. "Okay, I guess I'll have to trust you--I hope I don't regret it." Her face grew grim for a moment, then she spoke in a soft and clear tone: "The reason that I do these things, Michael, is that it is my sacred duty to do so. My job is to hunt the demons, the vampires, the things that go bump in the night. I am the Slayer."  
  
to be continued. . .  
  
All right, if you have any comments, praise, or references to a good mental health program, feel free to send them along.  
  
  
  



	2. Part II

Part II  
  
"I am the Slayer."  
  
Buffy's quiet statement caused Kuzak to vaguely regret that he had no convenient personal item or habit to fall back on as a distractive gesture, since he was rapidly becoming convinced that the young woman sitting across from him was not playing with a full deck. He fell back on opening his briefcase and taking out a pen and pad. He looked up at the quietly waiting Buffy and commented, "Really? That sounds interesting, Buffy. Why don't you tell me more about that?" He looked down at the pad, preparing to write down whatever she said. He was mentally regretting the fact that there was no insanity defense for what Buffy was being accused of when he was startled by the sudden sound of air being blown between someone's lips. He looked up to see Buffy glaring at him.  
  
She looked at him and snapped, "Oh, that's really convincing, Sigmund!" She shook her head and commented, "I hate it when they make me do demonstrations." She looked at Kuzak and demanded, 'Get a quarter out of your pocket." Puzzled, Kuzak did so, and Buffy ordered, "Try to bend it." He tried, noting that the quarter was one of those 1999 editions with individual states on them-this one was Georgia. He failed to put any bend in it after thirty seconds of trying, and he looked and asked, "What was the point of that?"  
  
She held her hand out, and he obeyed her implied instruction by dropping the quarter in her palm. She assumed the same position as he had, and applied force to the quarter. Kuzak almost jumped at the sound of ripping metal, and she motioned for him to hold his palm out. He did so, and she dropped the shorn halves of the coin in his hand. Astonished, he examined the coin, thinking to himself that Georgia had not had such a rough time of it since Sherman blew into it during the Civil War. Buffy commented snidely, "You can put that on my bill, Michael." She walked over to the stove and picked up a salt shaker, commenting, "I got this one from Blazing Saddles." She put the salt shaker on the table in front of Kuzak and instructed, "Put your hands two inches from each side of it." Kuzak did so, as he remembered the scene that she was talking about: * she can't be serious *, he thought. Buffy took up a position one foot away from him, her palms at her sides. She instructed quietly, "All right, whenever you're ready, grab it."  
  
Kuzak had anticipated the command and began to slam his hands together the instant after he heard the word "it." There was a blur of motion and a brief wisp of breeze, and Kuzak's hands slammed together on air. Buffy was holding the shaker with an amused expression, and she put it back on the table, commenting, "I take it I've made my point, Mr. Big City Attorney?"  
  
* Oh hell, Leland *, thought Kuzak sardonically, * what kind of weird shit have you gotten me into? * He managed to look up at Buffy and come up with a reasonably composed response: "You've convinced me that you are extraordinary for some reason I cannot quite understand, and if I ever become famous and/or rich enough to need a bodyguard, I'd call you first. However, there's a long way between that and believing in vampires or other supernatural things, Buffy." Though it would explain a lot, he thought.  
  
Buffy sighed and called, "Mom?" The older woman walked in, concern on her face. Buffy inclined her head at Kuzak and complained, "He doesn't believe I'm the Slayer, Mom, and I showed him the coin trick and everything."  
  
Joyce looked flustered, then leaned over to whisper to Buffy, "You told me you weren't going to tell him, Buffy." Kuzak heard, and he couldn't restrain himself from exclaiming, "You mean you believe in vampires and demons and all of that supernatural stuff?" Joyce looked embarrassed, but she stuck to her guns: "Well, yes, Mr. Kuzak. I've seen demons, and more than a few vampires; in fact, Buffy was dating one until a couple of months ago."  
  
Buffy turned around to glare at her mother and snapped, "Great, Mom! As if things weren't bad enough, now you have to open old wounds." Joyce put her hand on Buffy's shoulder and mouthed "Sorry" to her daughter as Buffy nodded. Kuzak decided that this would be a bad topic to pursue, and he decided to try another tack: "Buffy, you and your mother certainly seem to believe what you're saying, but can you give me more convincing evidence that your accounts?"  
  
Buffy smiled wickedly, and replied, "You could come out on patrol with us. We're going out in force, so the risk to you should be minimal. Consider it the deluxe tour of Sunnydale: cemeteries and lots and lots of the undead." She looked him over minutely and commented, "You might want to change first, though-that's a nice suit, and you wouldn't want to get dust on it."  
  
Kuzak briefly contemplated running screaming out the door and getting the hell out of town, but curiosity got the better of him. He agreed to go, wondering what she meant by that dust crack.  
  
*******  
  
Seven hours later, as the group retired to Giles' apartment for an end of patrol review, any doubts Kuzak had about the supernatural, at least here in Sunnydale, were banished forever. The sun had barely set behind the cemetery (one of what seemed to be an uncomfortably large number in Sunnydale) that the seven of them were walking through when three men with bestial features attacked them. Kuzak watched as Buffy and Giles, who he gathered was his client's mentor, each engaged one of the monsters while Xander and Oz, two friends of Buffy's who had greeted him politely when Buffy announced that he would be accompanying them, teamed up against the third. As the fight went on, Willow, the red-haired girl who was another one of Buffy's friends, looked up at him with concern. "Are you okay, Mr. Kuzak? It's okay to be a little weirded out by this. . .in fact, we'd kinda be wondering about you if you weren't."  
  
Kuzak looked at the concerned young woman and replied quietly, "I'm all right, Willow," but his expression said otherwise, and Willow squeezed his arm in support as they watched the fight. Buffy finished her opponent first, and she whirled around to see if her friends needed help, but they had things well in hand, and ten seconds later, there was nothing left of the three vampires but dust blowing away in the light evening breeze. They all turned to Kuzak expectantly, and he managed to say quietly, "Now I know what you meant by the dust," before crumpling bonelessly in a dead faint.  
  
That had been rather embarrassing, but no one in the group had chosen to give him a bad time about it. During the course of the evening, which was mostly a lot of time spent walking around various cemeteries in search of vampires, Kuzak took the opportunity to talk to all of Buffy's friends, and they corroborated everything Buffy and her mother had said, and he even heard a few details of the doomed relationship between Buffy and a vampire named Angel. All right, he thought, I know why she does what she does and why she needs to continue doing it, but how in the hell do I defend her without spilling all of this secret crap all over the front page of the LA Times? Giles had made it quite clear: none of this could be allowed to become public: the shock to the public would be too great, and Buffy might be subjected to further interference from outside authorities. Giles also had told him that Buffy's previous lawyer had been retained by the organization that normally supported the activities of the Slayer, but that they had terminated him when Buffy and Giles had a falling-out with them. Giles had offered to assume the responsibility for paying Kuzak, but Kuzak told him (with Buffy's permission) that Leland had told him that the bills would be paid by an unknown benefactor living in Los Angeles. Giles response to that information was to smile cryptically and reply, "I see." Kuzak wondered what the hell that was all about, but restrained himself.  
  
Late in the evening, seven vampires descended on the group, howling in bloodlust. The whole group went into battle mode, with Willow defending herself with a cross and what appeared to be a water pistol. Buffy had given him a stake and a cross, but told him to stay out of harm's way. He did so, but strangely, he started to feel left out of the whole thing. . .not that he was foolish enough to charge at one of the terrifying creatures. Abruptly, a vampire landed on its back, stunned, near him and he could hear Buffy curse at the mistake of tossing a vampire so near the helpless member of the group.  
  
* Helpless my ass *, thought Kuzak, as he remembered Buffy's explanation of vampire vulnerabilities. He brought the stake down into the heart of the vampire as it struggled to rise, reducing it to dust. Adrenaline rushed through his body, and he laughed quietly before sinking into a sitting position. Having finished off the vampires, the rest of the group surrounded him, concerned and not a little impressed. Xander slapped him on the back and commented enthusiastically, "Nice job, Lawyer Guy!" Kuzak managed a gentle glare that sent Xander wandering off for a moment while Buffy sat down to him and whispered, "Well, at least now the prospect of court tomorrow evening can't seem too terrifying to you now."  
  
* That's because you've never had to deal with the California court system before, Buffy *, thought Kuzak.  
  
*****  
  
Kuzak had rarely argued a case in night court-it certainly wasn't the standard in Los Angeles. When he had telephoned the assistant city attorney in charge of the case to inquire as to why the case was being heard at night, the attorney had explained that the scheduling was designed to meet the schedules of certain witnesses, who had insisted that they would not be available in the daytime. What would have seemed an oddity a few days ago raised serious suspicions in Kuzak now, given what he had learned during the previous night's patrol with Buffy and her friends.  
  
As they walked up the steps of the Sunnydale courthouse, Buffy squeezed his arm and asked, "How are you going to do this, Michael?" He laughed and replied, "I don't know, Buffy. I've read all of the pre-trial documents, but apparently the trial judge and the attorneys waived a lot of the pre-trial discovery rules for some reason I can't fathom. I'm going to be flying blind here. Add that to the problem that I can't say in open court 'Well, it's because she is the Slayer, Your Honor,' and the bottom line is I'm going to have to wing it, what with the judge ruling that there will be no more continuances. Also, I can't ethically put you up on the stand to lie. . .not that any lie would have much chance here. . .the only justification for the things you are accused of is the real reason, which we can't tell them." He sighed and commented, "At least we don't have a jury to deal with. . .all we have to do is convince the judge."  
  
Buffy nodded and looked at him with a serious expression on her face, "Then we'll just have to count on you coming up with a miracle, Michael. They're not unknown here." She smiled, and they walked into the courthouse and down the corridor to the main courtroom.  
  
Kuzak was startled to see what looked like a packed house: night court was generally observed only by its participants, and perhaps a few derelicts who had no place better to go. Buffy's friends were all in the front row, but he could see that a large number of high school age teenagers were occupying most of the other seats. The back row was occupied by a rather ragtag group of people, many of whom seemed to have wardrobes that were rather outdated. He and Buffy walked to the front row, greeting her friends. Buffy recognized one of the other people in the front row and called out quietly, "Cordelia? What in the world are you doing here?"  
  
A beautiful brunette looked up from the makeup mirror she was holding, then stood up politely and replied, "Oh, I was in town doing some shopping in stores that I missed, being in LA and all, and I heard from somebody that you were facing your long-awaited fate with the justice system. . .so I thought I'd come and see." Her words seemed rather flat and, on the surface, insensitive, but even Kuzak could see the concern in the dark eyes. Buffy evidently wasn't buying the callous act either, and Cordelia quickly became embarrassed at the appreciative expression on Buffy's face: she resumed her attention to the oversized vanity mirror.  
  
Kuzak was about to go ahead and sit down at the defense table when he noticed the reflection of the back of the courtroom from Cordelia's mirror. His eyebrows went up, and he leaned down and whispered to Buffy, "Should I be concerned that none of the guys in the back row are casting reflections?"  
  
Buffy glanced over at Cordelia's mirror and cursed quietly, before grumbling, "Yeah, they're vampires. Figures. . . I've been giving them grief for years, and now they're here to witness my downfall." They went through the swinging gate and sat at the defense table just in time to see the bailiff move forward and call out, "All rise." The occupants of the courtroom rose as one as the bailiff continued, "Night session for the Superior Court of California, City of Sunnydale, is now in session. The Honorable Chief Judge Randolph Thornton presiding." The judge entered the room, and Kuzak recognized him as a prominent judge who had accepted a lesser post as a way of reducing his workload as he entered his seventies. His appearance reminded Kuzak of the famous judge, later Commissioner of Baseball, Kenesaw Mountain Landis, who was described by a baseball historian as resembling "Jupiter in a bad mood." The judge coldly surveyed the courtroom, then nodded at the city attorney before speaking:  
  
"You may proceed, counselor."  
  
  
All right, if you have any comments, praise, or references to a good mental health program, please feel free to pass them along.  



	3. Part III

Part III  
  
  
"You may proceed, counselor."  
  
The city attorney, a short, thin man with thinning brown hair and an aura of having endured long years of tedium, began his opening statement with a surprising degree of energy. He told Judge Thornton of Buffy's history of violent incidents before coming to Sunnydale, drawing a thunderous objection from Kuzak, only to hear the mantra of a bench trial judge who doesn't want to be bothered with evidentiary niceties: "I'll let it in for what it's worth."  
  
Smiling smugly, the city attorney continued, detailing incident after incident where varying kinds of property damage happened within the city limits of Sunnydale. He then stated that there were fully fifteen eyewitnesses who could finger Buffy as being the responsible party for the property damage. He finished by concluding that the city of Sunnydale had no desire to place a financial burden on such an obviously troubled young woman (Buffy, glaring at the city attorney with a look that should have withered him like a piece of straw in a volcano, started to stand at this comment, and Kuzak only just restrained her), but that the city had to insist that she cease and desist her destructive activities. Kuzak saw that the judge was nodding and taking notes, and realized that he was already in a deep hole. When the city attorney finished, Judge Thornton looked up at Kuzak coldly and asked, "Opening statement, Mr. Kuzak?", as if to imply that he was wasting his time. Undaunted, he stood and replied, "Yes, Your Honor. The evidence will show that Miss Summers has done nothing wrong, and is a fine and upstanding member of the community of Sunnydale." He sat, only to find Buffy looking at him in bewilderment. She hissed, "That was it? What kind of defense was that?"   
  
Kuzak looked sympathetically at Buffy and replied, "Patience, Buffy. I still need to hear what these witnesses have to say. My opening leaves our options open, whatever we run into." She nodded, though still looking skeptical, as Judge Thornton called out, "Call your first witness, Mr. City Attorney."  
  
The testimony of the witnesses was fairly straightforward: they saw Buffy at a scene where property damage was later discovered, and testified that they saw her cause the damage. The city attorney questioned them only long enough to establish the actions and to have the witnesses ID Buffy, then turned the witnesses over to Kuzak with a smile on his face.  
  
Kuzak pulled out all of the stops, given the limits imposed by the necessity of keeping Buffy's situation secret. He had checked the almanac that he carried in his briefcase for the moon phases of all of the relevant dates, and was able to demonstrate that lighting conditions were awfully bad for some of the witnesses to be making positive ID's (of course, some of the witnesses were vampires and as such had excellent night vision, but they wouldn't testify to that in court, would they?). He was able to get the witnesses to admit that in every case, Buffy had been fighting someone who had also contributed to the property damage (of limited use, but perhaps he could exploit a self-defense angle). He did have the criminal records of some of the witnesses as part of the file (at least the lawyer that the Watchers' Council hired managed to be that competent) and used them to impeach the credibility of their testimony. But he knew that at best he was throwing up some dust; worse, Judge Thornton seemed completely unmoved by the hits he managed to score on the witnesses. . .Kuzak feared that he had already made up his mind. When the last witness for the city left the stand, Judge Thornton called for a fifteen-minute recess before the defense would present its case. The Judge sat in his chair, looking over his notes, while Kuzak walked over to where Buffy and her friends were waiting.   
  
"What do you think?" Giles asked, speaking for the group. Kuzak looked to make sure no one else was in earshot, then replied, "It's not good, Giles. . .Buffy. I did what I could with those witnesses, but fifteen eyewitnesses is a lot to deal with, even scattered out over a number of incidents, and I think that the judge isn't buying my arguments. I think we may just have to make do with character witnesses-if that hanging judge over there even allows them-and hope against hope that he decides to be human to-" His eyes locked on the mirror that Cordelia had left on her seat when she retreated to the bathroom. He gestured to Buffy to look. . .it took a moment for her to realize what he was pointing out to her, and when she did she barely restrained herself from an explosive profanity. The others looked and quickly put on poker faces to hide their dismay. "Great," Buffy grumbled, "as if things weren't bad enough." She turned to see a wicked smile on Kuzak's face, and she was not pleased. "What's so damned funny? Are you thinking about your fees if I appeal?"  
  
Kuzak shook his head, and looked at Giles, who seemed to be coming to a conclusion of his own. Kuzak nodded to him and whispered, "I think it's time for a change of approach. . .whatever I say, don't interfere." Concerned, Buffy nodded and watched as Kuzak scribbled on his notepad until the judge called the court back to order a few minutes later. He intoned, "Mr. Kuzak, you may proceed."  
  
Kuzak stood and replied, "Thank you, Your Honor. At this time, the defense wishes to concede that Miss Summers was indeed involved with all of the property damage specified by the city of Sunnydale." Kuzak felt Buffy stiffen beside him, then relax as Giles leaned over to whisper to her. Judge Thornton smiled thinly and commented, "Mr. Kuzak, if you willing to do that, couldn't you have done it to begin with and saved us all of this time?" Loud snickers came from the back row of the courtroom, provoking the judge to bang his gavel to make it cease.  
  
Kuzak replied, "Your Honor, at this time I would like to announce that the defense will be making an affirmative defense of justification; to be specific, that Miss Summers was compelled to perform the unfortunately destructive actions she is accused of in order to avert a greater evil, thereby excusing her from the consequences of her actions."  
  
The city attorney leapt to his feet and shouted, "Your Honor, this is an outrage! The City did not receive notice of any such defense-" He was interrupted by the loud banging of the judge's gavel, and he looked up to see a truly epic glare being directed at him. "One more outburst like that, sir, and you will be arguing your cases from a jail cell for six months." The city attorney sat down looking green around the gills, and Judge Thornton looked at Kuzak with interest. "Well, Mr. Kuzak, you have succeeded in engaging my attention, if nothing else. Very well, make your case. . .but I'm sure you know that that is a difficult argument to make. Call your first witness."  
  
Kuzak nodded and responded, "The one and only witness for the defense will be Buffy Summers." Buffy stood, a little shaky, and Kuzak whispered to her for about a minute. She nodded, then walked to the stand, where she was sworn in by the bailiff. Kuzak began slowly, establishing Buffy's personal information: name, age, how long she had lived in Sunnydale, and the fact that she had just graduated from high school. Judge Thornton was beginning to look bored again when Kuzak asked Buffy, "Miss Summers, are you responsible for the acts of property destruction set out by the city attorney?"  
  
Buffy looked at the smug city attorney sitting there listening, and looked frantically at Kuzak: he nodded at her, and she replied in an even tone, "Yes, I am."  
  
This provoked a loud murmuring from the crowd that Judge Thornton gaveled into silence. Kuzak continued by asking, "Miss Summers, is there a legitimate reason that has caused you to be involved in all of these incidents?" This time Buffy locked eyes with Giles: he hesitated for a long moment, then nodded. Buffy responded, "Yes, there is. In each of the incidents that he mentioned, I was trying to prevent vampires from killing people, and the damage occurred in the process of eliminating the vampires."  
  
The murmuring was louder this time, and Kuzak turned to observe the effect on the crowd as the judge banged his gavel again. Buffy's friends (except Giles) looked startled, as if this was the last thing they expected Buffy to say. Kuzak looked at the other teenagers in the crowd: they also looked rather surprised, but not outright shocked. The vampires in the back row were openly snickering. Kuzak looked to the front of the courtroom: the court reporter looked as if she could not believe what she was putting down on paper, while the bailiff and Judge Thornton looked skeptical, to say the least. The judge looked down at Buffy and asked quietly, "Did you say vampires, Miss Summers?"   
  
Buffy nodded, and Kuzak continued by asking, "So you caused the property damage because not to have done so would have meant that people would have died in each instance?" The city attorney, disgruntled by the turn of events, rose to object to the blatantly leading question, only to have the judge wave him back down. The judge turned to Buffy and intoned, "You may answer, miss." Buffy took a deep breath and answered, "Yes, that is true, Mr. Kuzak." Kuzak turned to the judge and stated, "No further questions, Your Honor." He walked back to his seat, saying to the unsettled city attorney, "Your witness, sir."  
  
The city attorney had begun to rise, unsure as how to proceed, when the judge waved him down, commenting, "Under the circumstances, counselor, perhaps I should question the witness for a moment." The city attorney opened his mouth to protest the unorthodox, though legal, methodology, only to find the judge giving him a glare that dropped him quivering into his seat. Judge Thornton turned to Buffy with a condescending smile, and began: "Now, Miss Summers. . .let me get this straight. . .you caused that damage in the course of killing . . .vampires?" Buffy nodded and stated, "Yes, Your Honor." The judge nodded and asked, "And killing them prevented deaths in all of the situations mentioned here today?" Buffy again answered, "Yes."  
  
Judge Thornton actually smiled, and the effect was startling. After a moment, he turned to Kuzak and commented, "I have to admit, counselor, you've succeeded in laying out an excellent justification defense. . .I'd have no choice but to rule in your favor. . .except for the annoying little fact that THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS VAMPIRES!!" The sudden shout made everyone in the room lean back a few inches as the judge recovered from his evident anger. Visibly calming himself, he turned back to Buffy and asked quietly, "You do know that, Miss Summers, don't you?"   
  
Buffy looked the ancient judge in the eyes and stated flatly, "No, Your Honor, I don't. I've seen vampires. . .I've fought them. . .I've killed over a hundred of them. . .they exist."   
  
Judge Thornton looked at Buffy for a long moment with a disbelieving expression on his face, then commented, "Miss Summers, you seem like a nice young woman, in spite of the unfortunate things that the city attorney had to say about you. However, I must be guided by evidence, not simply your word, particularly when you are telling me of the existence of the supernatural. . .can you present me with any proof that what you say is true. . .that vampires truly exist?"  
  
Buffy nodded and replied, "Yes, Your Honor, I can." Taken aback, the judge looked at Buffy and apparently had had enough. "All right, Miss Summers, then I order you to present that evidence to me, right this instant."  
  
Buffy smiled coldly and asked politely, "Are you sure you want me to do that?" The vampires in the back row seemed restless, apparently wondering if the annoyed Slayer would charge at them.   
  
  
The Judge scowled at her and snapped, "Yes, I am, and I order you again-present the evidence no-" The judge perceived a blur of motion beneath his chin, and felt a sharp pain in his chest. He looked down and saw Buffy withdrawing his gavel from where it had just pierced his robes and his heart. He glared at the defendant and managed to blurt out, "I find you in conte-" before bursting into dust. The bailiff leaped to restrain Buffy, only to take the gavel in the chest and burst into dust himself.  
  
All hell broke loose in the courtroom. The dozen or so vampires in the back row leapt to their feet, apparently preparing to attack, only to find themselves faced with about one hundred angry teenagers with crosses, holy water, and BIC lighters jetting forth very long flames. As one, they turned and fled from the courtroom, with most of the teenagers in hot pursuit. The only occupants left in the room were Kuzak, Buffy and her friends, the shocked city attorney, the petrified court reporter, and a middle-aged man who had been sitting with the teenagers and who seemed to be watching the melee with a slight smile on his face.   
  
Buffy got down from the witness stand and confiscated the transcription tape from the stunned court reporter, commenting, "I don't think you'll be needing this," She looked at the scene and asked, "Now what?" , as her friends moved over to her and the city attorney stood, staring at them.  
  
"I think I can provide a solution," replied the middle-aged man, who had left his seat and walked quietly up to them. The city attorney gasped, "Judge Stevenson! I didn't know you were here, Your Honor." The jurist smiled grimly and replied, "I heard about this case and was interested. . .turns out my instincts were right." He looked at the two attorneys and commented, "Under the circumstances, and under the local rules of court, I believe I should take over for the. . .absent. . .Judge Thornton. Any objections?"  
  
This time, Kuzak turned to Buffy, and she nodded in agreement. He replied, "No objection, Your Honor." The city attorney looked as if he wanted to object, but he had had the starch taken out of him in the last few minutes, and he meekly replied, "No objections."  
  
Judge Stevenson smiled and commented, "Good." He took the bench while the others resumed their seats. He looked up and commented, "I've seen all of the evidence, counselors, and I am prepared to rule. Miss Summers has provided the evidence necessary to meet the burden for a justification defense, as per the request of Judge Thornton before his unscheduled departure. Therefore, I rule in favor of the defendant, with the further notation that with the mysterious disappearance of the transcript, no specific grounds for the justification shall be set down." He looked down at the court reporter and asked, "Is that clear, Mabel?" The harried court reporter looked up and replied, "Very clear, Your Honor," while warily looking at the other occupants of the room. The judge looked up and asked, "Does anyone else have any objections?" He was looking straight at the city attorney when he said it: the man sighed, clearly recognizing defeat as he whispered "No, Your Honor," gathered his papers, and left the courtroom at a brisk walking pace.  
  
Buffy whooped, and gave Kuzak a big hug, which he returned. The others clustered around, giving congratulations, and Buffy was smiling broadly as the judge walked up to Buffy. She turned to him and stated softly, "Your Honor, I owe you a lot. If there's anything I can do for you. . ."  
  
The judge smiled gently, and replied, "Now, now, Miss Summers. I made the correct ruling given the evidence . . .no need to thank me. Besides, I owed you more than a favor. . .I was at Graduation Day, as was my grandson Roger. You saved both of us, and a lot of others." He frowned and commented, "I was rather startled when Randolph turned out to be a vampire. . .and Adam the bailiff too." He shook his head and asked, "How did you know?"  
  
Buffy smiled and nodded at Kuzak. "Michael saw that there was only one person reflected in Cordelia's mirror at the front of the courtroom-the court reporter. Lucky Cordy can't go five minutes without looking in the mirror." She turned to Giles, frowning: "Does this mean that they were vampires all along, Giles?" Giles shook his head and replied, "I saw Judge Thornton in broad daylight only two weeks ago. . .they must have recruited the judge and the bailiff just in time for them to manipulate the outcome. . .though as I recall, the judge wasn't being terribly helpful before that, anyway. The vampires may have lost the outcome they desired by failing to resist the temptation to tamper."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at the lengthy analysis and commented, "Yada, yada, yada. . .whatever." She threw up her arms and shouted, "I'm going to Disneyland!" Seeing the looks she got from the others, she calmed down and commented, "Well, it seemed the thing to say." As Judge Stevenson left to a hail of thanks and friendly waves, she turned to her friends and attorney and shouted, "All right, who's for celebrating at the Bronze?!"  
  
  
*****  
  
The next morning, Kuzak had packed his bags and was preparing to leave his motel room when he heard a knock. He tensed, but realized that the sun outside would be a deterrent to any vengeful vampires. He opened the door and found Buffy standing there smiling. He invited her in and they sat down across from each other on the twin beds. He asked, "So what's next for you, now that we've fought off the legal minions of darkness?"  
  
She laughed, and replied, "The usual: preventing the depredations of the undead. . .plus orientation for UC Sunnydale in a couple of weeks." Her face turned serious, and she hesitated a moment before speaking: "Michael, I just wanted to say thanks. . .you did a great job, and you were able to deal with all of the weirdness, and even used it to help us win. I owe you, big time."  
  
Kuzak smiled and replied, "All part of the job, Buffy. Just be glad you don't have to pay my bill." They laughed at that, and Buffy asked hesitatingly, "Michael, if you run into that mysterious benefactor. . .could you tell him thanks, and that I miss him and love him?"  
  
Kuzak was taken aback for a moment, then the pieces came together. "Let me guess. . .tall, dark, handsome. . .and won't be visible in the mirrored cufflinks that I'm going to order when I get back home?" Buffy was startled, then laughed. "That's my Angel. . .was my Angel. Anyway, just pass it along if you get the chance, okay?" She hugged Kuzak, and got up to leave. "Call me if you're ever in these parts again. . .I can't have my lawyer becoming vampire bait." She left, and Kuzak watched her go with a mixture of awe and amusement.   
  
He took his bags to the car, dropped off his room key, and drove off for home. Idly, he wondered if it would bring in new business if he added to his business card "Counsel for the Slayer and in other matters Supernatural." After a moment, he decided against it. After all, how likely was it that he would ever run into a case this weird again? He laughed at the thought and began dictating notes for his next case as he left Sunnydale.  
  
  
  
All right, if you have any comments, praise, or references to a good mental health program, please feel free to pass them along. Also, I think I may eventually write a sequel to this, based in LA and involving another familiar face. . .  
  
  



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